Gentle and other poems

Over the past few months, I’ve been involved with a project with UoN LGBT+ Voices. Together with poet Maya Ruhinda, we put together a small booklet of poetry and illustrations.  Here’s a selection of Maya’s poems and my illustrations. A limited number of booklets are available for a small donation to Equation Nottingham. If you’d like one, get in touch with either me or the folks at LGBT+ Voices.

 

 

i’m not really happy

 

every night i used to wash my face with soapy water

 

splash splash splash

 

the smile from my face

 

because i am in love with you

 

and you are not in love with me

 

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there is something about not going in

 

there is something about

walking past a gay bar

and not going

 

in

 

that treds lightly upon

my little gay heart

with a sturdy wellington boot

 

so i go home

 

 

gentle

 

for me when i am

in love i am a nicer

soul

 

i would stroke the strands

of hair on her head to sleep

softly. soundly i

 

would hold her, embrace

her, feel her naked body

cloaked in the fluffy

 

white dressing gown she

would wear never did i picture

letting her go

 

she would flood my whole

existence with the kindness

of a mother,

 

gentle

 

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internalised homophobia

 

that afternoon i

had sat by the pond and let

it rain on me i

 

prayed for more rain i

needed to feel clean and to

forget what happened

 

i had had sex with a girl

 

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Experiments in Deep Blue

A few weeks ago I went along to a Cyanotype Printing workshop at the awesome Spike Island (check them out for lots of free workshops). It’s a fairly simple technique the was originally used for making prints from drawings and is where the term ‘blueprint’ originally came from. The paper is treated with a photosensitive solution and the objects laid on top create white silhouettes on a deep blue background when it is exposed to sunlight. These were my experimental creations using tracing paper, ink and some found objects.

 

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I thought, ‘It’s like it is burning’ and then I remembered that it was.

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Recently I’ve been inspired by a friend’s work to have a go at working more freely and try and work from my imagination rather than copying photos all the time. It’s been hard, after doing A-level I’ve got so used to working in a really restricted way. If I try to draw something off the top of my head, I have no idea where to start. So I’ve been making myself work from life or my own drawings to try and crack my photo addiction. This one was a bit of an experiment. I worked completely from what I could remember from the sunset I’d seen earlier. And I forced myself to finish it, which is quite rare for me.